What exactly does a satisfying sex life look like? This is a good question to consider. Because once we have an idea of what we’re aiming for, it can be easier to determine the steps we need to take to get there.
Sex and relationship researchers and clinicians often use the term “sexual gratification” to describe the extent to which people are happy and content with their sexual lives. Researchers have developed various tools to try to measure exactly how sexually satisfied a person is, such as the Index of Sexual Satisfaction, Global measure of sexual satisfactionen New Sexual Satisfaction Scale-Short. These are essentially short questionnaires, often based on psychological frameworks and then scientifically validated for accuracy, which apparently paint an accurate picture of how someone feels about their own sex life.
Different measurement rubrics represent different theories about what it means to have a good sex life. Some focus their questions on how much physical sensation a person experiences, while others judge the interpersonal connection they have with their sex partners. Sometimes it’s as simple as asking a person, “How satisfied are you with your sex life on a scale of 1 to 5?”
There is no consensus on the “right way” to assess sexual satisfaction, and experts have found shortcomings with most of these measurement tools when used for large populations and continue to test new ones. The reason is simple: it is difficult to create any set of questions or “signs” of a good sex life that apply to everyone.
The truth, and it should come as no great surprise, is that there is no single definition of “satisfying sex.” What is satisfactory to one person may not be satisfactory to another. It’s all about what feels good for each specific individual and what matters most to them when it comes to sex.
So, to make you think about how you feel over your sex life, below are nine signs that indicate that someone is having a satisfying sex life, based on the aforementioned measurement tools used by researchers to assess sexual satisfaction. They may not be able to fully grasp what satisfaction looks like. everyonebut they can provide some interesting insights for any person who wants to gauge how they feel about their intimate world – and what areas, if any, could use an improvement.
1. You feel satisfied with your current sex life.
When you know, you know. Sometimes it’s that simple. As for you personally, you would say you have a pretty good sex life. You as an individual enjoy the sex you have and how often you have it. Or, you have no sex these days, or not at all, and that’s how you like it. Great! If it works for you, do not change it.
Either way, you have nothing really to complain about as far as your sex life is concerned, nothing seems to be missing or missing dramatically, and there is no real stress or problems around sex. And if something does come up, you feel quite capable of addressing it and getting things back in a good place.
2. You can really go in there.
When you do have sex, you can be really physically and mentally connected. You can focus on your body, the physical sensations of pleasure, the eroticism of the experience and your connection with your partner. You feel that you can really “let go” and surrender to the pleasure, without being distracted, stressed or otherwise pulled out of the moment.
If or when it’s important to you, you also feel that you can open up emotionally and connect with your partner during sex. You feel like you can have deep, passionate sex.
3. You take care of your body.
You have no major problems or concerns with your ability to physically engage in sex – whether it be related to arousal, erections, ejaculation, sexual pain, etc. – or you feel able to manage and overcome any challenges you have. handle. . Or, if physical conditions affect your sex life, you feel you have strategies in place to make it work.
4. You feel good about the quality and frequency of your orgasms.
Orgasms are not necessary for good sex, but for some people it is very important to have consistently good orgasms. Whatever the case for you, you feel satisfied with how often you get orgasms. And if orgasm is part of your sexual experience, you feel satisfied with the type of stimulation used to get you there, the time it takes, and how those orgasms physically feel to you.
5. There is a balance between what you give and what you receive.
It’s not just about you! The people you have sex with also have a wonderful time. When you are in a long term relationship, you feel that your partner cares about your sexual needs and cares for you. You feel that you are both having fun and satisfying each other. You like your partner’s movements, and they like yours.
This is true even if we are also talking about casual sex partners. Whether you are in a relationship or not, you make the effort to make sure your partner or partners enjoy the sex you have – basically, they can say “yes” to all the items on this list, too.
6. You are comfortable talking to your partner about sex.
Good sex depends on good communication. This one is especially important for people in long term relationships, but it also applies to casual sex partners. In a healthy sex life, you and your partner can talk openly (and be receptive to conversations about) your sex life, including things you like and dislike, want and dislike, and so on. No one becomes defensive or avoids these conversations, and you both feel that you can talk to each other about your deepest desires, needs, and emotions. You also feel that you can talk about any problems in your sex life without worrying that it will negatively affect your relationship or how your partner feels about you.
7. You feel like you and your partner are sexually compatible.
This one is specifically for those in long term relationships. Generally, feel that you and your partner have similar or compatible needs, desires, styles, preferences, beliefs, and attitudes related to sex. This can include how often you two want sex, when the mood for sex arises, who initiates sex, what kind of things you want to do in bed, how important sex is to each of you, how important sex is in a relationship, and more. What’s important is that if you feel that there is a place where the two of you differ (which is inevitable), then you can compromise and make it work in a way that feels good to both of you.
8. You like the amount of excitement and creativity in your sex life.
Not everyone needs fireworks and a new acrobatic position to try every time they have sex. But overall, you feel good about the amount of variety in your sex life. This may apply to the mix of sexual acts you engage in, the frequency with which you experiment with new twists and dynamics, or the variety of partners you have sex with (if applicable).
When you are with a long-term partner, the two of you are both physically attracted to each other and always find new ways to connect with each other. On the other hand, if you feel that your sex life tends to be a bit monotonous, mechanical, obligatory or boring, these are all signs that there is probably some room for improvement in this area.
9. In general, sex is a fun and positive thing in your life.
If you’ve having sex, it’s because you like having sex. It puts you in a good mood. It’s not a chore, nor is it something to be ashamed of or avoid. You feel that sex is a pleasant, positive and valuable activity in your life that you are free to do whenever you want, without fear of judgment and also without pressure. When you are in a relationship, you feel that your sex life contributes to it. This is one of the many things you do to have fun, connect and just feel good.