Spending time with your old man is something that needs to be prioritized. But it’s always easier said than done, isn ‘t it? Getting along – and for many it can be a big ash – time is often a factor. So it is to find something to do together, because sitting around works just as long. And to find connection within that time? Well, it can be even harder because priorities change and shared interests are sometimes hard to find. But despite the obstacles, it’s essential to hang out with your dad, ask him questions, learn from him, and enjoy his presence – and something you will not be able to do forever.
For this purpose, we asked a variety of men how they get time to connect with their father now that they are fathers themselves. Some talked about watching sports or meeting regularly at a favorite restaurant, others about a shared love of gardening or a simple exchange of movie quotes. Whether the way they make contact is big or small, all of them have worked hard to maintain a bond with their father and thereby a more complete relationship. This is something we should all strive for. Here’s what they said.
1. We Shoot Archery
“My father and I are very close to each other. Despite my busy schedule, I always find time to peek into my parental home every week. One thing that connects my dad and I is archery. We are both very much into it, so we are holding a weekly archery competition and whoever loses has to buy dinner for the whole family to share. After dinner, my dad and I would usually play chess, drink tea, and share hilarious experiences about our lives. We had to have talks almost recently, but I’m still looking forward to our archery matches. ” – Tim, 26, California
2. We Meet For Sushi
“My father and I have become very close since I moved back home. We live about 30 minutes apart and meet once a week for lunch or dinner. We both love sushi, and we have a specific sushi place where we always meet. The food is delicious, but, more importantly, the time together enables us to reconnect and get to know the new people we have become. ” – Ricky, 25 years old, Florida
3. We Go On A Picnic
“My father is a picnic lover. So we try to plan at least one picnic per month. We really enjoy the time, and my dad seems so happy during our picnics that I do not want it to end. We talked a lot about my career ambitions – I went into a food-related field – and our conversations evolved over time. At first he was upset and nervous. He was worried about my finances, my success and my ability to make it work. In fact, a few picnics were spent with him to scold me. But I believed the field would be fulfilling, so I went for it. Lately, my father has started celebrating my happiness in my work, which has made our time together even more enjoyable. ” – Timothy, 41, Florida
4. We’m talking about medicine
“I am a pharmacist, and my father often calls me just to talk. Most of the time he would ask me a health or science question that stunned his doctor. Or just something he wants to learn more about. If I do not know, we’re looking for it together. It’s almost like a treasure hunt. I could not find work in my hometown, so I am very much looking forward to his calls. He helped me get where I am, and never gave up on me once. I have planned so many visits that have been delayed by COVID, but this tradition has given us each something to bind on. ” – Benjamin, 40, Texas
5. We bind on comics and the MCU
“I will never forget the day my father showed me his comic book collection. I was in comic books, and I knew he had it, but it was amazing. He had so much of what I heard, or saw in photos, but could never read. And he allowed me. Fast forward to today, and we’re both total fanboys of anything MCU. When Endgame came out, I think he was more excited than I was. And all the movies before that, I think we saw each one on his opening weekend, if not his actual opening night. ” – Hector, 39, Pennsylvania
6. Our SMS Movie Quotes
“My father finally got an iPhone like a year ago, so he literally just started texting. The first few texts were short. “Hi.” ‘Love you.’ Such good. Then, one day, he sent me “If you are not first, you are last!” For those who do not know, this is a quote from Talladega nights, and it broke me. We kept going back and forth with that movie, The godfather, Christmas Holiday, Ghostbreakers – all the movies we watched and loved together. I texted him the other day: ‘I’m the magician. Now you see me … now you do not see! ‘ This is another Talladega nights. He immediately responded with, “Abracadabra, holmes.” I can not overemphasize how much I like that we do it. ” – Shane, 40, Ohio
7. We are listening to the police scanner
“My father is a diligent listener to his police radio scanner, and when something ‘exciting’ comes up, he calls me and we can listen to it together. Last night, for example, I was painting the house when I got a call. A man had been running away from the police for more than an hour and they still had not caught him. I over the next half hour listened to how this man over highway footbridges, fled through a stream and backyards, knocked on a woman’s door and used her phone briefly, and was then eventually dropped off by a police dog in a school. It’s all real-time and Dad helps to interpret many of the call signs and other shorthand used on the police radio. It’s our way of bonding together and experiencing the thrill of a police chase together, while living about an hour’s drive apart. ” – Dan, 35, Dunedin, New Zealand
8. We bind on all things Detroit
“When I was a kid, my dad always included me in his favorite activities, which included Detroit Lions football, Detroit Tigers baseball, an interest in old cars and car work. Today we share a deep bond that includes watching and attending Detroit sporting events together, and lengthy discussions about the conditions of our teams. We also attend car shows, and Dad helped me tremendously to work on my 1965 Mustang. Recently, we also restored a 1923 Ford Model TT truck together. Dad and I can talk about anything, and even though we do not always agree, we respect each other’s views, we always make time for each other. ” – Don, 64 years old, Ohio
9. We started a website
“My father and I both love the outdoors. So much so that we created a website dedicated to our passion. I’m originally from France, and I know it can be hard to stay connected with loved ones when you live in a different time zone or country. So, when we video call each other – usually 2-3 times a week – we talk about our website. We hold each other accountable, and really work together on the project. When I work on a new piece of content, I will always ask him about his point of view and experience. It was important for me to involve my father in the development of this project, even though we live separately. Despite being retired, he remains fairly active and likes to be busy. ” – Julien, 39, Montreal, Canada
10. We work together in the yard
“My father is a classic father when it comes to mowing and having a nice lawn. And for the better, I inherited his love for and pride in gardening. So, during the spring and summer, we spend almost every weekend doing some project in one of our yards. Last year we built a fountain / waterfall thing at my parents’ house. We also dug out some bushes and stumps to make our yard look better. There is something about being outside, getting dirty, taking breaks and talking, and then going back to work that we both just really enjoy. My son has not really gotten into it yet, but it’s okay. I’m glad our love for landscaping is something my dad and I can share to stay connected. ” – Ryan, 38, Indiana
11. We bind on animals
“My father was raised in a farmhouse, so he has always had an appreciation for nature. When I was little, he taught me about all the animals around our house. Nothing exotic, just birds, chipmunks, squirrels… such things. But sometimes we see something rare. Like a 12-point money. Or a mink. And we would get so excited. Now that I’m big, we still call each other every time we see something unusual in nature. He recently called me about an owl sitting on its fence for a night. And I told him about a red fox we caught on our video doorbell. He told me he gets excited when he sees my name appear on his phone because he knows he’s going to hear an animal story. I definitely feel the same, and it’s a special commitment we share. ” – Christopher, 41, Ohio
