If there is one day that unites most of America, it’s the Super Bowl. You might have guessed it would be something like Memorial Day, or the Fourth of July, or the ever-elusive Honda Days, but no, it’s the Super Bowl. For the sports fanatics, there’s obviously The Big Game ™. For the foodie, there’s a whole smorgasbord of treats. For the pop culture obsessed, the halftime show. And for the odd balls, the commercials. Yes, ads are a dying breed, what with everyone streaming everything these days, but once a year, they dominate the conversation. So gather the kids in here for a short story.
Back in the day, before the big tuh-dum or Netflix, there were these interruptions that happened while TV was airing. Kind of like the thing you watch at the beginning of YouTube videos. We call them commercials. Though they may not be as ever-present as they once felt, the Super Bowl? That’s when they come to life again. Hell, the Super Bowl commercial lot used to be so good that you could not even risk going to the bathroom for fear of missing an instant classic. (Fortunately, they’re all uploaded online now, giving your bladder a much-needed reprieve.)
We have collected the best of this year’s lot, like a little time capsule of 2022. They’re ambitious. They often pander. A few of them are actually entertaining. Watch for yourself.
Intuit Quickbooks
Cancel the Super Bowl. The perfect commercial is already here.
Planet Fitness
Planet Fitness is here to help you live your best life, find health goals, etc. etc. but can we also have a discussion about how great it is that Lindsay Lohan is finding work and thriving out here? Next to Dennis Rodman, no less!
Planters
A Community reunion is on the horizon! Ken Jeong and Joel McHale come together to discuss the very important decision of how there is only one way to eat nuts. (It’s Ken’s way, I’m sorry.)
Bitbuy
Cue the one guy at the Super Bowl party who will now insist on explaining the blockchain to everyone else in the room. What the hell have you wrought, Kyle Lowry?
Rocket Homes and Rocket Mortgage
Anna Kendrick and Barbie make quite a duo in the teaser spot for Rocket Homes. Man, I wonder what it’s like for Anna Kendrick to sit next to a multi-hyphenate as iconic as Barbie.
Mailchimp
Mailchimp remains good and weird. The company has a strategy to “level the playing field,” driving Super Bowl viewers to social media to take in ads from small businesses who can not afford the extravagance of buying a spot during the Big Game.
ClickUp
If you’re a slave to an oddly specific file naming mechanism, you’re not alone. ClickUp is literally here for FinalDraft.doc, FinalDraft.v2.doc, FinalDraft.FORREAL.doc. Let the madness end.
Pringles
Once you pop, you really can not stop. Sometimes, that means having a can for a hand … forever.
Peacock’s ‘Bel-Air’
Will Smith is officially turning over the reins in this preview of Peacock’s upcoming Bel-Air series. Thankfully, no red tables were used in the making of this ad.
Booking.com
Sometimes the best commercials get to the point quickly, which is what Booking.com did with its spot featuring Idris Elba … even if they’re shit at naming. Idris’s words! Not mine!
Avocados From Mexico
Listen, I do not understand what is considered a good enough yield to warrant buying a Super Bowl ad, but I’m grateful for Avocados from Mexico, which each year has one of the weirdest ads. They’re strange, and I love them.
Pious
We love a musical. So does Vroom. And if you’re ever interested in singing and selling your car, then my guy, do I have a company you should look into.
Toyota
Listen. It’s hard enough keeping up with the Joneses when they’re non-specific people who have things you want. But when the Joneses are none other than Tommy Lee, Rashida, and of course, Leslie? Well that just feels like an impossible task.
Headspace
Headspace is debuting its first Super Bowl ad, featuring John Legend, which makes perfect sense. Who has a more calming voice than this crooner?
Michelob Ultra
What happens when a bunch of GOATs get together to bowl a few games? That’s what Michelob sets out to answer with some of the best athletes in the world.
Stella Artois
Life is severe. Jntense. Zoom meetings. Screaming children. Taxes. Make time to jump in a fountain or eat at a restaurant or befriend a cartoon dog. Live your own personal Life Artois.
GM
Dr. Evil has lost its edge, at least when it comes to its partnership with GM. These people want to solve emission issues, even if it’s not in this man’s nature.
Turbo Tax
There are two things you have to do in life: die and pay taxes. Turbo Tax is here to help with one.
Amazon
Ah, the married life! With totally relatable celebrity couple Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost! The gag: What if Alexa could read minds? Turns out that ScarJo has morning breath. Again. Relatable!
Rakuten
To be honest with you, I’m not sure where this one is going — or how to pronounce Rakutenstill–but any commercial starring Hannah Waddingham is a good commercial.
Hellmann’s Mayo
This year’s offering from Hellmann’s Mayo utilizes a classic football ad trope: Big Football Player Tackle Small People. One of those small people is Pete Davidson.
Oikos
For this year’s spot, Oikos taps into that classic father-son rivalry dynamic, which is usually playful — that is, unless your dad is Deion Sanders.
Bud Light Seltzer
Devastated that this commercial takes us to the “Land of Loud Flavors” and not Flavortown, itself. Guy Fierias he always does, saves it.
BMW
BMW’s teaser features Arnold Schwarzenegger as Zeus, god of the sky. More specifically, he controls the lightning … use context clues to figure out where this is going.
Captain Morgan
Chaos reigns in this absolutely absurd teaser from Captain Morgan, promoting a punch bowl that actually interacts with the game. This is not a prototype, it’s a real punch bowl that you could win. Total lunacy, and yet, you want one, do not you?
Uber Eats
Just because you can get something delivered from Uber Eats does not mean you should, you know, eat it. The delivery and ride share service is teasing its ad with three spots featuring Gwyneth Paltrow, Trevor Noah, and American treasure Jennifer Coolidge.
Budweiser
Budweiser, you manipulative jerk. This year’s installment, “A Clydesdale’s Journey,” brings in all the fixins: the beloved horse breed, the inclusion of a great dog, and a good reason to cry. Never change, Budweiser.
Lay’s
Lay’s is back at the Super Bowl after 17 years (seriously!) With a spot featuring the ageless Paul Rudd and the nearly ageless Seth Rogen. The commercial, titled “Golden Memories,” taps into the notion that we all have beautiful memories attached to eating Lay’s.
Flamin ‘Hot Doritos
Ahh — sss — push it. PUSH IT REAL GOOD.
For the new crossover chip, which combines the cheesy goodness of Doritos and the hotter than hell spice of Flamin ‘Hot Cheetos, the powers that be pulled fashioned Charlie Puth into a fox and Megan Thee Stallion into a songbird to introduce the snack.
Wallbox
Can Seth embrace electricity again, after getting struck by lightning? Well, that’s what Wallbox hopes to answer in its new Super Bowl ad. (Until the official spot drops, please revisit this incredible sequence from Intervention where a woman claims to be allergic to energy, including electricity.)
Busch Beer
Ok, some Super Bowl ads are weird, so we’ll let you suss this one out on your own.
Sam Adams
Yeah, the dog robot is cute, but anyone with any working knowledge of robots knows that they’ll be our overlords soon enough. Depending on your state of mind, this Sam Adams spot is either feel good or truly apocalyptic. Drink up!
Justin Kirkland
Justin Kirkland is a writer for Esquire, where he focuses on television, pop culture, food, and the south; he is from East Tennessee and currently lives in Brooklyn, New York.
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